Curbed?s advice columnist urges you not to be a mess about your mess

Welcome to House Rules, Curbed?s advice column; today, our columnist delves into cleaning and anxiety. Other house-related dilemmas" Send them to [email protected].

Dear Curbed,
Help! I live with the dysfunction of being cleaning-averse yet stressed out by clutter and dust. My biggest motivator for cleaning is people coming over (shame-cleaning!), which contributes to greater anxiety about hosting. This is something I really want to work on, because I would like my home to be a nurturing place for myself, my family, and my loved ones. But I feel I can?t manage to keep up. How might I start to address this piece of self-care avoidance"
?Dusty and Anxious in Massachusetts Happy New Year, Dusty! Or rather, Happy Newish Year! We?re at that stage in January when we?ve had a chance not only to think about what we?d like to work on in 2020 but also to be reminded of how difficult change can be. Maybe we?ve even given up on our resolutions and reverted to the status quo. But it?s not too late. Lunar New Year is a great chance to try yet again. A whole fresh year still awaits us!
Like you, I?m a cleaning-averse person who wants to make some changes in my approach to housekeeping this year, so thanks for giving me the chance to research and reflect on ways to do that. And thanks also for introducing me to the term ?shame-cleaning,? which so perfectly captures that familiar frantic feeling of tri...